Redo

I decided I didn't like the post I originally published today. It sounded like elitist bullshit. Not funny and, really, it was just was just old stuff reposted because I was too busy doing a favor for Candice, my potty-mouthed friend over at Life According to Candice. So I deleted it. Poof!! And with it, Dan's thoughtful comment. Sorry, Dan... it was a great comment.

Candice is hilarious. She should be a stand-up comedienne. I know I can count on her to make me laugh out loud. And her posts are educational, too. My vocabulary of terms for human private parts has tripled - no quadrupled - in size since I started reading her blog.

Of course, she's young and sassy... and I'm old and easily amused. We're an unlikely partnership. Occasionally she asks for a Photoshop favor; I am happy to help. (Watch for it...)

You see, I am a Photoshop junkie. It's gotten so bad that I've pretty much forgotten how to paint or draw. Best of all, combining a variety of photo elements makes a new reality. A twisted reality. It seems like such a good metaphor for our world today.

When not combining unlikely people or objects, Photoshop can be used to combine photos taken at different exposures; one scene, but with enhanced highlights and lowlights. Several artists use this technique. It helps to restore clouds to an over bright sky or details in objects cast in shadows. In the photo below the tops of the trees were overexposed, and the details in the water were too dark. I like this hybrid photo better:


How would you like your reality altered?

What Was I Thinking?

My son beat me twice at cards last night. Well, actually three times, if you include the game of Crazy Eights. But losing at Concentration was the real clincher, where skill rather than luck drives the game. The shame of it.

I used to consider myself the Concentration Queen. From the age of six onward, I could vanquish any adversary... even as recently as 12-13 years ago, which is when I last played the game. Yet, last night, those 52 cards conspired to make me feel old. Real old. They swam on the table in front of me, an overwhelming number of choices - each one a challenge to my self image as an able competitor.

Yikes. Not only did I lose, but I soon developed that flickering, tunnel vision that is the precursor of migraines. Nasty.

What a mental wake-up call! Ouch. Short term memory deficit rears its ugly head. If I don't watch out, my son will be steering me by the elbow on one of those Aricept ads. Sigh.

I guess it's time to increase my physical activity... change my diet... eat more pomegranates and pop some ginkgo tabs.

And, as of today, I'll be carrying a pack of cards on my person at all times, so that I can squeeze in a quick game of Concentration whenever there's a lull in the action. In doctor's office waiting rooms... the check out line at Kohl's... during some of those more tedious holiday parties... either by myself or with some unwitting foe.

I'm gonna be the Rocky of mental acuity... at the top of my game again soon... real soon. No more looking for my sunglasses when they are sitting on top of my head. No more wondering if I've locked my car in the mall parking lot. No more forgetting to place the laundry in the dryer for 24 hours or more...

The writing is on the wall. If only I could see it without squinting...

Tannenbaum Anxiety

Some people set up a Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving, which is smart if you want to get the most out of your investment. It provides a jump start to the season by ushering in all the magical, twinkling, and tinselled joy that surrounds this venerated symbol of the spirit of giving. Consider the following formula:

Christmas Tree Enjoyment Thrift Factor = Cost/Time

Basically, this means you could put up a wicked big tree costing $90 for 30 days, or prop up a $20 Charlie Brown tree from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day, and your enjoyment would be roughly the same depending on your degree of thriftiness.

Señor is of the Charlie Brown school of tree selection and installation. He's even been known to rouse the tree farmer out of his sugar plum dreams to cut down a tree long after everyone else's gifts had been wrapped and Santa's cookies and milk lay hospitably before the hearth. I know for a fact that some families traditionally set up their trees on Christmas Eve, but I'm not sure if this is what motivates Señor...

Tsk. Tsk. After our marriage things changed. In fact, Señor totally abdicated and turned over his tree rousting responsibilities to me. I took up the mantle willingly, with our youngest son at my side to assist.

Well, today is the day to buy a tree. And I'm feeling torn between guilt about our appetite for a live tree and our choices for artistic, but plastic alternatives. And I am looking at the yard, where a few new spruce and firs would do wonders for the landscaping, and I'm toying with the thought of a small, balled tree. And I'm considering my tree budget and basically stressing.

Truthfully, I think I've finally gone over to the Charlie Brown camp. Less is more...

Apparently the city of Concord, CA feels the same way... as evidenced by this photo:


It looks pretty pathetic; but on the bright side, the city saved $23,000 by using a living, growing tree on city land. Talk about a "green" choice.

I know I'll settle for something in the $35-$40 range, but will I go to the scouts, veterans, Knights of Columbus, or local tree outlet for my purchase? Will I continue to support an industry that cuts down trees which will soon be discarded? Tough choices.

Share your tannenbaum traditions... Tell me why - or why not - this is a moral choice.